Charlotte Giver - fashion events, articles, spontaneous trips, days at my internship

It is the 27th of November 2008. This means Thankgiving and two years ago since I went to America. I remember the day like it was yesterday, the first time I saw New York City from one of the windows in the flight. A lawyer who sat next to me looked at me and asked "your first time in New York?" I just nodded and kept looking out through the window. From New York to Bournemouth, a town where I was one of the only ones celebrating Thanksgiving, I think me and my friends did a pretty good job! Dinner (did not have time to get the turkey ready because of too much school work and too little time) music and desert. Came come late from school but went out shopping and prepared the dinner with music and friends. Early class tomorrow which means that I am going to bed soon, but first Sex & the City movie! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! And be thankful for what you have!  

Public Relations. Glamour, fancy events with celebrities, cosmopolitans, big presentations and a career in which you will find yourself grabbing a taxi on the Upper East side of Manhattan with a starbucks coffee in your hand, wearing the latest Christian Dior coat. From my own experience, this is how many people picture Public Relations - am image of the American dream with a six figure salary. I don't blame anyone. From wathcing the PR-agent, Samantha, in Sex and the City, this is the image you will create. "I want that career life!" you might say. After living in New York, a city saturated with club promoters, I strongly dislike business based on shallowness, the fixation with money and a good look. Therefore I did not want to believe everything I heard and started to think a lot about the area. I wanted to find out about the real meaning of the course I am attending. After a lot of lectures and seminars, I am relieved. I believe Public Relations is more than the world around celebrities and the fancy lifestyle. After all the practice of using communication to influence the public is hundreds of years old, with it's roots in acient civilization.

Be Passionate
Love
Dream Big
Be Spontaneous
Celebrate
Change the World or Go Home

Reports, assignments, presentations, exams versus party, friends, sports etc (the list could be long). I can't help of thinking: how do I stay focused on my projects? You know yourself. You are coming home from school. On your way home you have this plan in your head (at least, I usually have) " I am gonna go home, make something to eat, make coffee, go into my room, lock the door and study for, at least, 3 hours!" This is how the rest of my day is organised - in my head. How it turns out in the reality, when I come home, is another story. Before sinking into my project I am being sidetracked in five different directions. Sex & the city is on the TV and all my flatmates are watching it, "just have to go check my facebook", my friends are calling me asking if we can grab something to eat etc etc...etc. Finally you're ending up pushing your schoolwork up for the next day. A 2004 time and multitasking study by reserachers at the University of California at Irvine found that workers devote an avarage of 11 minutes to a project before being distracted. Once a worker is interrupted it takes another 25 minutes to return to the original task. So when you get home from school next time, go right into your room, close that door and turn your phone off. Even better; put up a Do-Not-Disturb sign on your door!  

When the media got out of hand! You open a magzine with Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richies skinny athletic bodies on the first page - surprised ? No, not really. This is a daily view over the news of today. And I can't help of asking myself; why this media obsession?  We are talking about this in school everyday and after a while you'll just stop reacting. Recently I heard about this journalist who went into Buckingham Palace with b-o-m-b written on his bag, having another journalism taking a picture of him - just so he could make a good-selling-story out of it! Let me just say; unbelievable! When was the last time we heard about a new Einstein or Newton, new discoveries or a cure for the war in the middle east. Bring us good and real news please! The media is getting out of whack!  We're getting used to shallow news and celebrity gossip in which we read about dwindling celebs and their friends, cocktailpartyn in Los Angeles, how to look like them, the secret behind their sizes - how to fit into one of their 500 dollar dresses and how to afford bying them. Who wore the dress best and how to get Paris Hiltons new hairstyle. The worst thing is that we want to read about it. We are dying to hear about the insanity of the size 0. Lets face it - the national obsession with famous, celebrities and skinniness has gone too far. Minuscule wasnt always so hot but today, most of the recent beauty icons - models and celebrities are supersvelt. Can you believe that we are living in a world with negative sizes; that dip below 0 to subzeros. Are there really such "ubertiny" women out there? Or has size become the latest way to evaluate self-worth? Either way, we cant build up our lifes on this media nonsense. I cant help of wonder; isnt there more important things to think and read about out there than how to loose those pounds?

I sure agree with The Beatles - "All you need is love", but nowadays time is rated as a second priority on the list. All we need is love...and time. Time flies is an expression we're familiar with. And for a swedish girl, like me, the american lifestyle is top rated. So much is going on here. School, college applications, SAT:s and PSAT, hockey/lacross/football games, volunteering, after-school-jobs etc etc. And when I come home to Sweden my schedule is packed with thousands of things I need (have) to do. Berfore you know it, another day, week, month, year has passed you by and one day  you're standing there clueless, questioning yourself where the heck those past years went. Okay, I don't say this is a bad way of living, you fullfill your days and might create many memories and you are active, which is GOOD but you have to stop putting such a big pressure on yourself. Pressure in itself is enough, you don't have to max it and you don't always have to be on top. Sometimes is enough to be good.  I don't have any time", "just wait a second", "hold on, I'll be right there..soon", "I just have to...", "I might be able to, it depens on if....",   bla bla bla. Just drop everything and take some time-out for yourself, do what you want to do and relax. I mean, what will happen if you don't go to that ONE game? Your coach won't kill you, will he? And, come on, don't you feel better doing those applications after a coffee-break with your girlfriends? To be honest, I think we are afraid of boredom, I think we sometimes want the time to fly - or am I wrong? We are so good at keeping ourselves busy and we are not afraid of telling our surroundings about it. If you are hanging out infront of the tv a whole day, people will ask you; whats wrong, are you sick? In their eyes, you are lazy and practacly boring. Does time only have to fly when you are having fun, or in other words, do you have to be bored for the time to slow down a little bit. Can't we find something inbetween?


Why does time have to be the limit?

All shoppers, listen up! Banana republic has now been launced in London

....But what about the rest of Europe and what about Dunkin donuts, Starbucks, Macy's, Wendys, Target,
Victorias Secret, TJ Max, Forever 21, Old Navy, NYSC, Century 21, Walmart, K mart,  etc. Not that I am a fan of Dunkin Donuts or Wendys, but still. The rest of the world might be and the companies would make a fortune and I would by coming up with this brilliant idea! We would make a business; shipping over big companies like this from one side of the Atlantic ocean to the other. And the money would be overflowing. Imagine a Starbucks in the middle of Stockholm and Target close to your home, Century 21 two miles away and Vicorias Secret just around the corner. Wouldn't that be great? Though, on the other side, the European citizents would be freaked out, thinking that they don't want to give up their culture for the American lifestyle, but according to my opinion I think you can make a choice here. No one is forcing you to go to Dunkin Donut or buy your langerie at Victorias Secret. You can decide if you want to go to your ordinary favorite pizza place or take the next step over to that new Forever 21 store downtown and see what you think about it. 

What do I want to be when I grow up, is a question we started asking ourselves when we were 5 years old. When we were 5 years old we had all the time in the world to figure it out and our dreams seemed to be out of reach. If we wanted to be a big star, we could do it! If we dreamt of becoming a famous soccerplayer it didnt seem impossible. But when we hit a certain age we understood that it wasnt quite as easy. We understood that we had to stop dreaming and start working for it. The question suddenly became important and actually quite urgent. 

One day, me and my friend were talking outside a studio when the following subject got brought up - finding yourself. Okay, I am twenty, I know what I want to do in life, I know myself, who I am and my beliefs but I am far away from knowing the rest. Sitting there talking to my quite new friend, I couldnt help of thinking; what about the person who hasnt found himself? What about the person without dreams of becoming or the one who dont know his talent? Some people are good in school; math, reading, science etc comes easy to them, while some people have a talent in sports, singing or acting. There are people who uses their nice body and their great look to get ahead. But what if you have neither. Are you really bust by your early twenties if you dont know yourself or your talent yet? And can you find out? Do you have time? Or is it too late? I want to say; of course you have time, you have all the time in the world finding what you want to do in life. That is what I believe and I think that life is all about that - finding yourself. But today I am not sure. Do you really have all the time in the world? I mean, in a red cabin way up in Sweden you have or by that beautiful and peaceful lake in Italy but not here, not in the real, stressed and career obsessed world. Not in the world where you get thrown out of highschool right away into college with the decision of chosing your major when you are 18. How can you possible have all the time in the world finding yourself when the future is knocking on the door this early. For me, who always had the dream of becoming a writer and a journalist, I can admit that I would have no problems getting into college a little bit early. But for the one who is standing there like a big questionmark, asking himself; who am I, what do I want from life and whats my dream? I dont know if the right anwer is pushing, moving forward and getting ahead fast. I think the right anwer is time, world experiences and discoveries, peace, family and friends. Sure, some can find themself in the darkest of corners but I think the easiest way of finding yourself is to really find yourself - you, and not the key to the big masters degree or the money . That is why I told my new friend not to rush.

"Why is she unhappy? I mean she has everything she needs and gets whatever she points at". Over some Coca Cola and cookies in the sun. I knew exactly how to answer my friend "money doesn't buy happiness" I actually think it's the other way around. The less money you've got and the less things you'll get, the more happy you'll become and the more you appreciate things in life. Do you remember when you were around 10 years old and it was the night before Christmas. Anyways, I do. I remember I was so excited, I couldn't fall asleep. The snow was falling down outside my window and my mom was telling us christmasstories infront of the fireplace. It was a wonderful feeling! I also remember one inparticular day when I was gonna go shopping at the mall with my mom (I think I was gonna get some new sneakers) Maybe I was around 12 years old? The whole day I had the biggest smile on my face, telling everyone about those new sneakers. Yes, when I was young I was longing for everything. The smallest things, like my favorite dinner, a trip to the woods, fridaynights together with my family, watching my favorite disneyshow and for playing together with my best friends. So, how come I'm not longing for that trip to the woods anymore, or getting those new sneakers? Today I want to give away things instead. I love giving away presents - to my family, friends, relatives. Before leaving America, I went to the mall where I spent almost all of my working money on presents to my family. I was so excited giving it to them.

Once opon a second time arond: Harder, better, faster, stronger? Is that how we should be and the real question is: are we? Any of us? I don't think so. We aren't any superheroes or robots. Of course we are independent in many ways and the confidence is there in many of us, especially when it comes to things we are good at - school, sports, socializing, art, music etc. And it should, don't ever loose that confidence! But don't forget, everybody has a weak side too. Many times, a side we don't want to show. We rather show people the good, beautiful and glamorous side of ourselves over a coup of coffee or two. But why? We are only humans and everybody gets hurt sometimes, cries and needs someone to talk to. And THAT is how I think we'll get stronger! If we don't feel pain, how do we know when to feel happiness or love? I talked to a friend about this today, who was really sad and hurt but too afraid of showing. I started to think about this. Is it unattractive to show sadness and weakness? Some books and magazines says. And if, for some reason, it's true let me just say: WHATEVER! Don't think about that. If we fail in school, if we get through rough times in life, if we fight with our boyfriend or friend aren't we supposed to be sad and feel bad. Lets say your friend calls you, that same day you got a bad grade at that history test, and asks how you feel. Don't lie to her and say "I'm good!" just to be good. Tell her the truth! That you actually failed on that stupid history test and that you feel really shitty. And now, the real point in this whole thing comes, be sad that day. It's okay! and it's not a crime to be! You can show and feel weakness sometimes!   





It's okay to cry sometimes.

Happiness. It's like having the sun in your face even though it's raining outside. You feel like you can achieve anything you want and with your optimistic attitude you'll follow your dreams. Nothing can put you down and if someone tries to you just keep on smiling while telling yourself: "after rain comes sunshine." You're happy and let me just say: yes, why not? You only live once and you should - feel happiness. The question is: how do we catch it and is it there to stay or are we just feeling it during that hot summerday in june? or on that flight to Rome?  Happiness is the most important ingredient when it comes to finding yourself and if you catch it, you'll probably be successful and feel a mening with your life. So, how do you do? We can call it the science behind catching happiness. For making this whole thing a little bit easier, I asked some friends about what they considered happiness. First, I asked my bestfriend. She told me following " I feel happy when my family and friends are happy, when I'm happy with the things I've done and when I have goals and dreams." The other friend I asked told me she feels happy when she has love and when everything is going well for her in school. 

According to my opinioin, the secret behind happiness is bigger than this. Happiness is something that always should there - like a personal feeling. You should create positive thoughts and feelings. If we feel happy, it's easier for us to reach those happy moments and appreciate them. To feel happy just cleaning your room, doing the laundry or go running along the ocean. You shouldn't need to have that bag with your favorite candy next to you or that A+ on you history test to feel happy. So, while doing the dishes, put that smile on your face. Trust me, if you do, you'll feel more happy!

I know people (in general) feel happiness planning something or having something planned. If you know you have somthing to look foreward to, it's easy to feel happy. If you have a trip booked, a journalism progamme to attend or a future job set you feel safe with the feeling that you're doing something with your life.

Though, I think there are different kinds of happinesss. First, there is the one I just talked about. We can call it "your personal happiness". This is the feeling you have inside of you, the feeling you carry around. Then, there is a second one - love. The one that gives you butterflies in your stomach and makes you wanna smile all the time. Then, there is the love that makes you feel safe, which brings you memories from childhood and later years. A feeling of completeness and belonging. Love, wether it comes to dancing with your boyfriend in a room with light candles or playing soccer in the sun with your little brother or just having a Saturdaynight dinner with your family. Appreciete these moments, it'll bring you happiness today and tomorrow.    

A young mind speaking. You are thinking: How does she know what she is talking about? A twenty year old swedish girl with high expectations and big city dreams with a get-go motivation who likes to put up her computer and get lost in writing about what she is thinking - and notice the fact that she is a big thinker. Okay, I only have a few experiences in the business industry. Not so much to brag about. I don´t have a big boss to impress or ask for a higher position- yet. (Well, if you do count my fashionstore manager or the chief of the restaurant I'm working at.) But lately I have been studying achievement - in my mind. And the thing I have figured out so far is: For getting the most out of your career-life YOU have to know how to get ahead. So, let's call in the big guns: How do you get ahead? How do I get ahead? And do you have to be a b-i-t-c-h when it comes to career or can you follow your heart?

We have to believe in Marvin Gayes "Ain´t no mountain high enough!" And for reaching up to your dream/dreams you have to have a vision, an ambition and the most important - you have to believe in yourself and have the confidence. It is easier said than done of course. Some people have to work harder than others. Some just gets lucky, walking on the right street at the right time. I mean, why do some people get ahead while others are stuck at the bottom? I think it has to do with individuality and personality, which is making us optimistic or pessimistic, crave recognition to varying degrees, causing us to undermine or be supportive of collegues, never to skip a deadline, get dressed for success or to try again if we don´t succeed the first time. Failure can be hard but maybe we´re just having too high expectations. I once read that "Expecations is tidily defined by scientists as the will to pursue goals that may be just out of reach." You should still keep track of Marvin Gayes happy song, but with a little less volume. If you put up one reasonable expectation and then reach it, you can put up another one. If you work in this pattern you won´t get disappointed. You won´t feel that you are throwing your life away for that one and only big dream of yours that never happend or wasn´t as great as you thought it would be. It makes sence, don´t you think? And even if you achieve that one and only dream, you might ask yourself "Do I want to continue on this path, with this script and this role? Or do I want to forge a new story and truly savor my remaining years?"And hey, do you know what, life is not only about goals, career and work. It is about how you develope as a person, love and understanding, trust and the importance of a friendship. But can you gather all this with your career or will you get lost? I think it is hard, putting all of these factors into one - the great person. We can call her the great and loving working mom with an apartment on the upper east side of Manhattan, a house in Italy and a summerhouse in the Hamptons.  But this great superhero-working-mom might have had a hard time carrying her portfolio underneath her right arm while carrying her 3 year old Nathalie in the left. The great working mom might be at home during the evenings but when her Blackberry rings, she will be running up the stairs answering. 

Are you the person or are you the work? If you'll find a balance between the two I'll be impressed. And remember, keep your positive attitude but don't have too high expectations.